Intercessors… please pray. There is a lot of witchcraft here and I am feeling it. It is causing a lot of disunity in the body and I am beginning to feel the Lord’s anger towards it. Please pray for clarity and direction. I won’t go into the issues we are currently facing here but pray that I would know the steps to take.

June 26, 2008

Last night we showed the Jesus film in a village way outside of Nampula. ( I hate the Jesus film). Then we asked for the sick to come forward. I didn’t even feel afraid… but the realization that we were the only healers there – as in we were the only vessels available – no Heidi, no Bill Johnson, no John Wymber, no Dr. Rob… just some simple willing people – hit me and I felt myself slip into survival mode. Everyone I prayed for got healed… but it all felt so empty even though I could feel your power move through me. It was like when Jesus was in the crowed and a woman touches the hem of His robe and He felt the power leave Him… it was like that. I was so tired and not interested in these people at all by this time. But clearly You were. Clearly You knew their names and their faces and their needs because I didn’t even have to try. It was your night… not mine. The power just came. The compassion just came. One healing imparticular was so amazing to me.
I watched a woman’s thumb, which was completely twisted and could not bend at all, get healed and bend all the way. I could feel her thumb untwist inside of my hand. She was so happy- she kept showing her friends and everyone just stood around and watched. It still wasn’t completely straight though. So I just wanted her to feel loved… not fixed so I continued to pray. But then some girls came and prayed with me, but they were kind of on a power trip because they didn’t even looked at her. Hey started rebuking stuff in her and commanded healing to come. Nothing happened. One of them saw that she had a necklace and decided it was witchcraft and made her take it off. Still nothing. Then they left and I continued to pray out of love and she got completely healed! She started dancing and wiggling her thumbs and giving me thumbs up and sending other people to get prayer from me.

Even though we’re not supposed to give things to them, I gave her my necklace. She asked if it was a good one and I said yes.

Jesus I thank you for showing up! I am sorry for not having faith but I thank you for building it quickly in me. I felt like last night I moved in love. Not love for the people. But my love with you carried me. It felt beautiful and I could feel you the whole night.

I love you.

This is not your home. You are not scorned for your circumstances but because you are marked with Love Everlasting.

Rise up Dhalits, untouchables, abandoned women, forgotten children – remove your shades and look into His beautiful face for He calls you His and He calls you home.

God show me home so I can tell them about it.

So a woman came up to me on the beach today. She said, “ I see you are reading a Bible.” I said yes. So she sat down and asked if I could interpret her dream.
She assumed that because I am a Christian that I can do the things Jesus can do. Ha!
That really challenged my faith. And God, thank you for giving me the grace to interpret her dream.
What if I walked up to someone in America with a Bible and asked them for healing for interpretation or a word from the Lord simply because they were Christian? What if Christians really lived out the authority they have been endowed with? What if we really knew who we were?

Well it’s been quite a while…

Incarnational Love: You can’t impart it. You can only become it. This is good news to the poor. This is good news to the broken. Mama Aida spoke to us about those who hunger and thirst for righteousness. These ones will be filled. Filled with incarnational love. I don’t have it, God. I just don’t. I can’t and yet you are asking it of me. Think of something else that You can use me for.

I don’t know what was happening to me… but tears were streaming down my face. This school has been a school of tears for me… for so many reasons. And I was the only one crying. I felt so embarrassed because I am used to people crying in church but it’s usually corporate on some level. God, it was just me. How humiliating. I have always wanted to be called out. Big speakers come to our church and they get called out before they speak and prophesied over. I thought to myself… “One day, God, I will get called out. One day.” Well that day came. June 20, 2008. Heidi saw the Spirit on me and she turns straight to me and says, “Jesus is asking you, ‘Will you drink my cup? Will you enter into my suffering, Beloved?’” She is good at singling people out for an example. But this was no example. A couple minutes later in her sermon she turns to me again and says, “Honey, Holy Spirit is ALL over you. You are called to feed the poor. You are called to drink that cup and feed them Jesus.” And I just began to weep. I was so afraid. God, this isn’t what I meant by being called out. NO! I AM poor! I have nothing! She just put her microphone down right then and there and came over to me and wrapped her arms around me and rocked me back and fourth. Through tears she told me how she saw Jesus handing me the cup and giving me His flesh and saying, “Take this, my Beloved, eat it and give it to my children.” All these people came and surrounded me in prayer.

I was the only one in the whole room that got touched by You and it was so urgent that you even had Heidi interrupt her message to speak it out in front of everyone. I felt so sick. Finally called out…. To what? I am so empty God. Help me. Then she told me that I am to preach. I am to give them Jesus.

Here I am…