of course there is alot to process...
so as things come I will share.

The only thing I wanted, God, was to come back a different person. I have always struggled with being under the spell of fearing man. Why? Why do we struggle with the thoughts and perceptions of this world upon us? It's so stifling. But Sweet Friend, by your love, you have liberated me. You have called me Yours and have declared that in Your eyes alone, I find my value, my purpose, my home...
I have been so afraid for so long to love. Yes I have no love without You. In and of myself... what could I possibly offer. But in and of You who is in me - faithfully in me and never leaving me - I have inherited the greatest love known to mankind; An unconditional, sacrificial, everlasting love. Oh how wonderful it is to be your Beloved! I have been so afraid to recieve it and so afraid to give it. But this whole trip has spoken nothing short of Your incredible affection for me. It consumed me and engulfs my core - Your core. O, I am Your dwelling place, Sweet Prince who has saved my heart.
I have become so secure and drenched in your love that all fear has scurried from me before I could even speak against it. "Perfect Love casts out fear!" Ha! It's true. So true, My Love. And now... I praise You Jesus because now... I am not afraid anymore. I am not afraid to love. I have such wonderful love to give! And I am not afraid to recieve it.
I was worshiping one night with my Mozambican friends - just enjoying the atmostphere of family... one day EVERY tribe and nation and tongue will worship as one... I was worshiping with them and I decided to turn around and face the stars in the sky... they were brilliant that night. As I was worshiping You - this incredible realization of old came over me; You brought me here - - - ALL the way to Africa ( my childhood heart) just to be with You. Really--- Just to be with You. Thats the whole point. I became flooded with your love at that moment... a deeper revelation that cannot merely be spoken but felt. And I knew in that moment that something had broken over me. Fear was gone.

I praise You forever, my Jesus! My heart sings with wings to You. You are faithful to restore our broken hearts... faithful to restore the very wings we were spoken fourth with... I praise You.